Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

A Little bit of "Cat Speak"

I really liked this email I got from  Farmers Alamanac today and since many of you are fellow cats lovers, I thought  I’d pass some of this advice on to you!

 Ears
·       If my ears are hard forward, I’m alert, interested, ready to move (maybe even jump, pounce or run).
·       If my ears are forward but relaxed, I am also relaxed, aware of my surroundings but not alarmed.
·       When my ears are slightly down and to the side, I am very relaxed and happy. I may be even purring.
·       Beware if my ears are back but not flat, I am agitated, threatened, may jump or run away.
·       Uh oh! Caution … if my ears are flat back on my head, I am very angry, threatened, and/or frightened.



Tail
·       If my tail is high, relaxed, and waving means I’m relaxed, happy, and confident.
·       If my tail is trailing behind my body but not held low, I’m relaxed but alert.
·       My tail will be held low if I’m being cautious. I may be looking for a safe place, especially if my body is also held low to the ground.
·       Tail bristled (danger, danger, danger, Will Robinson!), I’m not in a good mood and am fearful or aggressive.


Body
·      If I look like a little meat loaf (with my body relaxed, soft, feet tucked under or kneading), I am in “pet-topia” (I am very relaxed).
·       When I roll on my back, I feel very relaxed and trusting. I only do this when I am absolutely confident of safety. I may also be asking you to play or rub my stomach.
·       If my back is arched, I’m on my toes, standing sideways---I am fearful and may fight, but will probably run.
·       However, if my back is arched, and I’m standing face-on---I’m feeling aggressive and will almost certainly fight.


Whiskers
·       If my whiskers are hard forward, I am alert, interested, perhaps see a threat, prey, or food.
·       When my whiskers are back, I am calm, relaxed.
·       When I’m bristling my whiskers, I’m feeling afraid or aggressive!



Tune in tomorrow for a few more “cat-speak” tips!

Totally Unrelated to Crafting, but ....

I know this is totally unrelated to crafting whatsoever, but I thought this You Tube video was hilarious and so am sharing it with you all - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgTyiaDmytw and also this from LOL Cats. If you view the You Tube Video you will understand the kitty.

Weekend Wanderings

Hello! I hope your weekend was wonderful.  I was able to get some things done even though I an limping around. I fell a few days ago ... I am really such a klutz ... and hurt my left ankle and foot. I am now wearing a boot and am not supposed to put weight on that foot ... we'll see how that goes.  A few weeks ago I dropped a large rock on my other foot and broke two toes.  I'm thinking that these are signs from God telling me I must spend more time sitting and stitching! :)

I had a wonderful time on Saturday with Henry as he visited his first pumpkin patch. Doesn't he look like he is having the time of his little life?
I have to laugh at the first picture in this post (scroll back to it). I'm wondering about the meaning and purpose of the "pumpkin" catapult in the right hand corner of the photo? LOL!!!

I am also thrilled and humbled that I now have more than 100 followers! To celebrate, I will be having another giveaway in October.  And I will be tallying up my questionnaire about eBay vs. Esty vs. a Selling Blog as soon as the give away is over.  But I can probably say that I will not be going back to selling on eBay.  Here are a few items that I've finished, need to be stitched into pillows or mini-quilts, or stuffed that you might find on my selling blog one of these days.  The first photo is a little mini-quilt/wall hanging that I made up from a free design offered recently by Shirley Hudson over at Hudson's Holidays;
This little saying makes me smile every time I see it.  I am also making a little pillow from the pattern on muslin, too.  Here are a few of my items.  When/if I sell them, I will let you know who is the pattern designer, but right now I can't find the original patterns in amongst all my patterns (thanks for not asking me to get up and look, the foot you know! :) )
All in all, it has been a wonderful weekend ... the corn is looking good, spent time with my grandson, my daughter and I spent some good quality time together and she made a DELICIOUS bacon/spinach/broccoli quiche for supper for us all!  Well, the work week starts early tomorrow so I'm off to get into my PJ's and enjoy a cup of chamomile/lavender tea!  Hope you all have sweet dreams tonight.

Sending You a Little Humor Today.

When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.

The church office will be closed until opening. It will remain closed after opening. It will reopen Monday.

Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.

The beautiful flowers on the altar this morning are to celebrate the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our bell choir practice.

For those who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery downstairs.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a great chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

Questionnaire :
"What is your Church Preference?"
Answer : "I prefer a red brick church."

The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 P.M. Please use the back door.

On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of a new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will please come forward to get a piece of paper.

There is a sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be baptized on the table in the foyer.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy".

The visiting monster today is Rev. Jack Bains.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.

We pray that our people will jumble themselves.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

The sermon this morning: WOMEN IN THE CHURCH The closing song: RISE UP, O MEN OF GOD

Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

It's Drug Awareness Week: Get involved in drugs before your children do.

Illiterate? Write to the church office for help.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

ANOINTING OF THE SICK ... If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.

When I was the "maintenance guy" at my former church, I left a note attached to a receipt in the office for the secretary. Note read: "Van Battery died." The secretary was concerned that she didn't know this church member, and asked how she should announce his passing in the bulletin.

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven". Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance

New Year's Resolutions

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and hope you have a safe and happy New Year!  One of MY new year's resolutions is to get back to crafting soon, but the only one I think I can keep! However, I asked my kitties what resolutions they would make for 2011 and here's what they had to say!

• I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a scary movie.

• I will not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain.

• I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt into the box of clumping cat litter.

• I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

• I will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over my humans' bed while she’s trying to sleep.

• I will not try to leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

• I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

• I will not check every door when it rains because I will believe my human that it will be raining on all sides of the house.

• Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.

• I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" when my human is trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

• I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.

• When my human puts me into the Cage Of Death for a trip to the vet, I will not try to use my own urine as a corrosive agent as it will not eat through the cage walls.

• Dry cat food is both tasty and nutritious, and it is always available. I will not starve myself and act pitiful all day long in anticipation of the canned food.

• I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.

• I will not eat spider plants and then hallucinate behind the toilet.

• I will not soak my catnip toys in the toilet to make tea.


Cheers to you all and give your kitties a little milk on New Year's eve!  See you in 2011!